I’ve always been driven and a bit overly ambitious when it came to my work. So when motherhood began for me in 2001, I stuck with my traditional full-time job and continued to power up the career ladder. By the time I was pregnant with our second child, I started to realize that full-time employment wasn’t for me. I couldn’t stand leaving my children in someone else’s care for 10-12 hours a day, while I worked my tail off to pay them! But, I knew that being a stay-at-home mom wasn’t for me either (commendable, but not for me). So in 2003, I started a business, like many ex-professional moms do.

There have been periods in my self-employment when work has been so slow that I felt like a SAHM. I always did my best to embrace those down periods and jump fully into being a SAHM, but ultimately it made me pretty miserable…AND, like you, I love my kids tremendously!…so it was a bit of an internal conflict.

Today, I still work for myself, but fill in the gaps (financially and professionally) that slow periods offer, by teaching part-time college courses. This way, I can still contribute toward our family’s earning and be a more balanced work-at-home/stay-at-home mom.

I totally thought I would be Mrs. Suzy Homemaker when I was pregnant, but after having my first child I quickly found out I wasn’t. I launched a stay-at-home career which has been valuable for many reasons and good at the time, but I understand why many moms feel they need to have a life outside of the home. Motherhood, if you’re not careful (especially being a SAHM) can strip you of who you are.

First off @Rebecca I didn’t like being pregnant either but like @Michelle said, I did it again because of the end result.

@Kim I also have learned a lot about me that I would have never learned. I am so thankful for the time I had with both of my children and I feel very lucky. I’m just ready to move on, now that I’ve learned about me and what makes me happy.

Thanks for commenting ladies!

I also want to send a big hug to Rebecca- I too hated being pregnant and will do it again only because the end result is worth it, but there are us women out there.

I’m glad I did spend that time with her though. If I hadn’t, I wouldn’t have learned about this part of myself and I would have felt that I had missed out on something. If I knew then what I know now, I would have done things differently but I learned a lot about myself.

I love my daughter but I don’t find all the of the duties that go with parenting to be fulfilling and often yearn to be left alone. Many people, especially women, look at me askance when I verbalize this.

It frustrates me that women judge each other for their choices and for what fulfills them rather that working together to create a world where we all allowed to be who we are and still be considered a good mother.

Thanks for the article. It is so refreshing to hear someone express my feelings on this issue.

There has been a lot of post-partum depression in my family and I think perhaps the worst part of it all is that it is not acceptable to say “hey, this is difficult and makes me unhappy right now and I could use some support.”

I read a story about a new mom who was having some of these feelings and all it really took to get through it was finding another mom who had some of the same feelings and having someone to talk to and identify with.

You’re a rockstar. If working part-time is fulfilling for you, it will be fulfilling for your family to have you and your best and healthiest. Yay for self-discovery.

(Also– your picture metaphor rocks and I’m going to be thinking about my own snapshots concerning some of the stuff I’ve been dealing with lately. Thank you for writing this.)

Thanks for you support. I think we owe it to each other to be honest and realize that we aren’t all cookie cutter personalities. What works for my family might not work for you. We can all take our own picture but we should try to make it be about who “we” are and not what others want things to look like.

Rebeccas last blog post..Winding down…