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Haven’t We Graduated From High School?



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mom bloggers high school

Something has been bothering me. A week ago or so Jessica Gottlieb wrote a blog post on the FTC and Mom Bloggers and I love her honesty and what she said on the matter.  The post received a wide range of comments (wow on traffic) and a unfortunately far to many attacks about Jessica Knows, even some saying she isn’t a “real” person. I love how Jessica took the high road but I’m sure because she’s human her feelings were hurt to some degree. What has me bothered is a comment about Jessica claiming to be green and others online but that they’re not really green because they drive this or that and they wrote a post about Windex and don’t have a garden. Sometimes reactions online from mommy bloggers  make me not like being a “mom blogger” and wishing sometimes I could disconnect from the pact when some make us look like a bunch of whiny brats that are having a high school brawl.

I actually got sick to my stomach over this because it reminds me of the exact reason I started Green and Clean Mom and how over time I’ve even been scrutinized and condemned but also because as easy as it is for people to turn on Jessica someone can turn on me and say I’m not really green and it would be far more appropriate because I have a “green” blog. The deal is, I’m not trying to be “green” to live up to anyone’s standard but my own. There is not some yardstick that says if I measure this I am green and I get an award and stamp of approval.

I’ve worried several times that someone would come to my house and do an inspection to see just how “green” I am. That they would raid the cupboards, ask me what I use to highlight my hair, inspect the sheets to see if they were organic and then write some horrible expose’ calling me a liar and I’d have to walk the plank. Seems silly that I would worry but more absurd that anyone would care. Except people easily sit behind a screen and they can write whatever they like and treat people with disrespect and make snarky judgmental comments and condemn a person because they’re not actually looking that person in the eye and they don’t have a relationship with that person to see they have a good heart.  It’s easy to hurt a person you don’t know and that is why the tabloids exist.

The fact of the matter is this; there isn’t a blogger out there or person who is perfect. We all live lives away from the computer and families we love and friends we hold dear and near. For me, I have a blog that’s in the “green niche” because that is where my interests lie and I enjoy writing, reading and researching on this topic. It doesn’t define who I am as a person because I’m more than just Green and Clean Mom. I’ve even thought of selling at one point because of the “green mom” label and not really being sure that when I started the blog I would know how that would encompass how I was known online. It’s become a brand of it’s own and that includes me but if today was my last ever blog post (which it isn’t) I would want people to know this:

I am sometimes not so green. I am learning about being green with the rest of the world and improving everyday. I don’t believe that throwing a stone at someone and making them feel bad about what they drive or washed their clothing in does any good for the eco/green movement. I know it isn’t easy to change and do things a new and different way but all I ask is if I can try maybe you can try as well. Maybe that will open the door to trying something new next week or next year that improves the health of your family, helps the environment and saves you money.

I wish there was more self reflection online, encouragement and inspiration and fewer cat fights, name calling and competition. It’s great for traffic but is that how the blogger is in real life and if so I guess I would want to know them.  I’ve actually realized why I was never “popular” in high school and that’s because it was  crowd I never liked hanging around and being judged by. Just like there is more to a person than what they wear there is more to a person than there blog.

I am measured by the person who looks me in the eyes every morning and night when I look in the mirror; I am human and so are you so if you’re the person who feels like you need to judge or create that yard stick I suggest looking in the mirror – it’s more powerful.




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    It's called keeping up with the Joneses. While the rest of us, plug away realistically reducing our carbon footprint as we can, they are out there going into debt purchasing what they hope others will notice and pat them on the back for "doing the right thing".

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    So who is "greener"?

    Weird how some people get caught up in things we should all be trying to do because its "trendy". And then look down their noses at others.

    Like Molly says, we should all be taking those small steps and learning from each other along the way.
    Being kind is also being green.

    Just like these "green homes" on TV. Should I rip out my old oak floors and put in Bamboo because its "greener"?
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    I think it is a lot more useful to the average person to hear about someone like themselves on their journey to live a greener lifestyle. Reading a blog about someone who has already conquered all the obstacles in the way of greening their lives is nice, but it is much more useful to hear about the things that people like you have tried, whether they worked for them or not. We get to hear about the small steps as they happen and it makes the green lifestyle a lot more approachable.
  • I think about that too but when I went to DC it wasn't like that at all. I've learned that those I surround myself with at conferences and events recognized me as a person who is real and genuine and the others I just don't associate with or surround myself with their "negative" energy. I'll never do it all perfectly and can't afford everything organic but like Diane from the Big Green Purse suggests, I'm shifting my dollars where I can.
  • Sommer,

    I've felt the same way too. Especially now that's BlogHer's coming up. I wonder once others find out that I'm a Green blogger will they start looking at what I'm wearing, what I'm doing, and even the swag that I've decided to accept more closely. I'm probably being very silly about it. I hope I am.

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    Sommer, I love your site. I try to add being green into our family and we make the changes that we can. It is a growing and learning experience for all of us. The one thing that I love is that your site is positive no matter what. Even when you are down about something, you still have a positive spin. I do look at other sites, but honestly can't say that I look forward to seeing what they have to say. Keep up the good work and thanks for the motivation to keep trying!
  • Thanks Bec, that means a lot to me and I'm so glad you let me know how you feel - I do try to be positive.
  • Yay for you and for this post! In my work for an architecture firm that specializes in sustainable building, I meet constantly with people who think that if they can't (or don't want to) go for the whole enchilada (ie. a platinum LEED rating), they shouldn't do anything at all. They've been trained by society, I guess, to think they've got to do it all or nothing and it takes a lot of retraining on my part to get them to see that making 5 out of 10 "green" choices is better than making none. I'm sure there are other firms that would say we're posers, but I'd rather see people do what they can afford, live with, etc. than do nothing at all because they don't meet some standards set by god only knows who.

    I look at my own life the same way. I do what I can to be eco friendly, and I try to make new changes every day, but have I ever went to the grocery store without my reusable bags? Threw something in my garbage disposal because I was just too lazy to bring it to the compost pile? Took a hot shower for far longer than anyone would consider responsible? Used non-green cleaners when I was in a hurry to clean my house for a showing? Of course!

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    I'd like to go all the way and do everything eco-friendly but tomorrow I'd find out that wasn't eco-friendly. I just have to keep trying and remember that it isn't just me but my family whom I'm trying to encourage to change with me. That's a big leap and not always easy.
  • Sommer - great post. I think we'll have more "fun" with this at the next Green Moms Carnival, because Jenn (The Green Parent) wants us to post about our "Eco-Confessions" - how we're all not so green.

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  • Yes, that make sense and it does seem like there are lots of shovels to hand out these days with everyone having an opinion.
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