As a child  I  never wore sunscreen. NEVER.

I had (have) fair skin and spent most of my summer time vacations in bathing suits running in the sprinkler, spashing in the pool or lakes, camping or building forts. My mother was a good mom but I didn’t burn and if I did it quickly became a tan – none of my friends wore sunscreen. My aunts, mom and their friends all sat in lawn chairs, lathered in baby oil with records covered in foil to help them catch more rays. I grew up thinking the sun on my body, a small burn would turn into a nice tan and that was a good thing – something I should desire not prevent.

In college I worked as a summer camp counselor each summer and we spent almost every sunny day at the pool. I came to dislike the scent of sunscreen as a helped lather the children in every color, scent and brand of sunscreen. I would protect the child’s skin and then spray a SPF 15 sun oil on my body.

Looking back on this I don’t shutter and roll my eyes ashamed. I actually have to stop and remind myself to not do this every summer because of the dangers. I know that my skin has taken a beaten and now that I’m in my 30’s I see the sun damage. I notice the hyper skin pigmentation from the skin damage on my face and there are several moles that I worry about. My body is covered in moles, moles that will be inspected tomorrow – for the first time in five years.

This scares me. Two moles on my face have changed shape and color and I’m scared these will need to be removed and I’ll need a surgery. I’m scared that my years of no sunscreen and tanning will mean skin cancer. I’m nervous that when I’m older I’ll look really old because of wrinkles on my face. My appointment tomorrow comes on the heels of the Grey Anatomy Show and the simple fact that it is Skin Cancer Awarness Month.