I’m headed to Canada at the end of April with the White Cloud Moms and the Rockfish Interactive team and I had to update my passport because it had my maiden name. The two pictures look very different and when I look at myself now and then I still see the same person, I just look slimmer, my hair is shorter and I look older ( I see wrinkles).
When I asked my husband he said, “I see two different people and I know them both.”
This has really bothered me because I don’t feel as though I am a different person. I’m still Sommer who loves the book, Little Women and wishes I could be Joe March. I adore the movie, When Harry Met Sally and wish I looked like Meg Ryan. I’m clumsy and the opposite of graceful (just ask Amy and Christine from Rockfish) and my Midwest accent is strong as ever (though I don’t hear it, others just say I have one). I love Bette Midler’s music and still listen to the oldies music and Bush Light beer makes me sick! If you knew me 10 years ago you’d say, “Yup, that is the same Sommer.”
Here is what I think happens to some women and what has happened to me…
I had one idea of what I wanted to do and be but life experience has changed my mind.
I had a concept of motherhood and infertility that was far different in my early twenties. I thought it would be easier to go through fertility and that was not the case.
I thought marriage was different and the fairytale was reality; I was in love and foolish. I’m still in love but marriage is something you work on and not read about in a book.
I have allowed myself to experience new things and try to make changes and fix what I did not like, such as my weight and self image. I worked on this for me, not for the sake of trying to impress anyone else, let alone a boyfriend or husband. That was not the case when I was younger and have had a broken heart and experiencing hurt I become smarter about what makes me happier verses trying to please someone else.
I thought I would always use my degree from college and just do “that” but new doors, opportunities and passions emerged and I let myself live outside of a box.
I’ve experienced death, sadness, tragedy and disappointment that taught me how short life can be.
I thought being a stay at home mom was something I would be good at and love to do but I missed working and wanted to find a happy middle so I could be happy.
I really had no concept of motherhood and the primal protective feelings that accompanied my pregnancy and child birth and the need to protect my children.
We all grow, change and evolve but when you look at yourself in a picture from 10 years ago do you see someone completely different or just better?
