I named her Betty.I don’t know why but she has to be girl and Betty seems like a kitchen appliance name {unless your name is Betty and you’re a nice person}. Betty is beefy, she holds our food and keeps the strawberries fresh, the carrots crisp and the milk cold. Something a motherly figure would do.

Betty wants to make everyone happy. The ice compartment is always full. The water is cold and dispenses fresh filtered water on demand. The drawers slide open easy for little hands to grab a string cheese and reach a juice box. The light comes on when dad wants a midnight snack and illuminates his pecan pie mom made.

Ms. Betty the refrigerator keeps her bottom freezer drawer icy cold for the frozen yogurts, ice packs for the children’s boo-boos and yummy ice cream. Everything is in working order and easy to find.

Betty Has Feelings

I can only image how Betty feels when her doors are slammed. When the children hang on her freezer drawer looking endlessly at ice cream snacks and frozen desserts how tiring it must be. How it might feel to have her cold air escape because the door is insensibly being held open while dad stares at the shelves thinking a prime rib will magically appear or his favorite cheese cake, just because he is starring. Betty will have to work overtime to cool her box down after all of that cold air has escaped.

Here is What Betty Would Say

“Shut the damn door!”

“Stop hanging on my door handles, you’ll break them, bend them and loosen my screws – do you want me to have a loose screw?”

“Honey, do you think it is easy when you empty my ice box for your party and want filled in two seconds? Come on, plan ahead!”

“Do you see those fingerprints all over me? I’m shiny and pretty sweetie and you have me looking like a stainless steel jungle gym! Don’t you have some cleaner?”

“Really another magnet!”

“If that husband of yours pretends I’m a vending machine one more time, I’m slamming these doors on his sausage fingers!”

“Little girl, another string cheese and juice, does your mama really know you’re in here?

“If this appliance could drink, I’d be drinking all that wine in here!

Oh Betty!

Betty works hard. All my appliances do. Louise the dishwasher probably hates how the dishes aren’t rinsed well and he’s in major need of a baking soda and vinegar spa day!  Rosie the cook top needs her fan filter replaced, poor girl. Eddie and Jack the twin ovens, are full of burnt on grease, pie filling that has leaked over and lord only knows what else.

If your appliances could talk what would they say?

Disclaimer: I was not paid to write this post but I wrote it as an entry for the GE $5,000 appliance giveaway.

Why not? Great tips for free!

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