“How do you do everything?”
“I could never do everything that you do.”
We measure each other by one another’s successes and failures.
We peer into a window and see a comfortable looking home; a happy family and we all assume that everything is put together nicely and running smoothly.
We really do not know.
We use a standard yard stick for measuring our life, our accomplishments and gauging how we should or should not feel.
Most days I feel unsuccessful at home at marriage, motherhood, homemaking and juggling life.
Often times I feel like a failure because my daughter won’t sleep in her bed. I forgot to pay a bill, nobody likes what I made for dinner and I slaved for two hours on it. I feel as though I am continually reminded on the home front of what I did not do correctly, what I forgot. It is not like the dishwasher says thank you!
Motherhood, marriage and homemaking means you find your own happy moments of pride and joy when your child cleans their own room, says thank you or smiles. You have to pat yourself on your back because most likely nobody else will. Most likely your cooking, cleaning, lack of sleep and struggles will go unrecognized because it is your “job” you are supposed to do it and with a smile on your face. The dozen loads of laundry do not thank you and instead I only hear about the things that are not washed or put away.
I am terrible at finding my own happy moments and patting myself on the back. I take nobody liking dinner personal or me forgetting to buy ketchup or the correct BBQ sauce as a big screw up and I beat myself up for it! I am my own worse critic.
I like to feel good at something. I like to feel like I am doing something right.
I want my children to learn that they are responsible for their own happiness and need to seek this out so they can be good parents, friends, workers and in general happy people. Being happy is not something that just falls into your lap, you do have to make it happen, look for it and know what makes you as a person happy.
Isn’t this what we want for our children, to be happy?
Why not lead by example and show them what happiness is by learning to be happy ourselves and not always being self sacrificing and using other people’s standards of happiness and success?
I’m learning so I can be a good role model. I am striving to measure myself by my own standards and ditch the yard stick and measures of what others think. What about what I think?
This is my truth. How I feel, think and what I hear. Be your own judge but do not judge me.
Why not? Great tips for free!