I am not a runner. I jog but mostly walk. I love taking long walks, putting my music on and feeling the wind on my face and the sun on my cheeks (when it is sunny). I look forward to my time each day where my feet his pavement and I can clear my mind. It is my healthy me time – not just for my body but for my mind. Today felt different though. Today my mind was still attempting to process everything that is happening in our world. My mind whirled with images of fear and questions my children asked of me. Today I felt tears and tasted their saltiness as I ran and ran. I sobbed and ran. I didn’t make it that far because like I said I’m not a runner but I RAN.
I gave it my all and ran until my heart felt like it was going to explode out of my chest.
I ran until my lungs were stinging.
I ran only a short distance.
It was my small victory for today. Small but it counts and tomorrow maybe I’ll go farther and have another small running victory to celebrate.
I sobbed too. Not tears of joy because I was actually running and farther than I thought.Yes, I was proud of myself but no the tears were tears of sadness, anger and confusion – I just cannot understand the evil that exist in some people. I don’t understand why people want to hurt other people. I don’t think any of us can or ever will.
I can, however understand the goodness I see each day. I can understand that it will prevail and that each of us has great potential to help others and share our love and kindness. This is how I believe we triumph over the evil that exists. I know there is sun behind the darkness.
My walk today ended up in a run or rather a sprint but in a symbolic way I feel as though I was trying to show my support for all those hurt by the evil in our world. I was trying to show my love, even if nobody could see me run – I was running!
Maybe tomorrow I’ll run farther. I won’t be any closer to understanding the world we live in but I’ll be focusing on what I can do to help others and make the world a better place. Through strides and breathes I’ll run and then walk but I’ll be saying my prayers and reaching for the warmth of the sun. I’ll celebrate my small victories and pray that each day the families and friends suffering from the senseless acts for violence and rage will find peace and healing, that they’ll see the sunlight again.
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